


Happier

by welcomefellowmisfits



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 00:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11324670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcomefellowmisfits/pseuds/welcomefellowmisfits
Summary: Inspired by Ed Sheeran's song "Happier."Laura comes back home from winter break a month after breaking up with Carmilla. Will being back home be too much for Laura? Will she realize Carmilla just may be happier moved on from her? Home is where the heart is and Laura will just have to follow hers.





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> Highly recommend listening to the song Happier while reading this fic

You’re walking down 29th and Park Street right by the city square. It’s the middle of December, only a few days from Christmas, and the snow has finally decided to fall. It’s a light snowfall, the kind that isn’t sticking to the ground just yet, but it’s beautiful nonetheless. Your favorite part of the Christmas season is walking around the city square, all the tree’s lit up by Christmas lights, and a hot chocolate in hand. It became a tradition of yours. 

A tradition you shared every year with Carmilla since you were kids. Of course, that was when you and Carmilla were together. You aren’t anymore. It’s been a month since you have broken up. Technically, you broke up with her, but there was a lot of stuff happening that you felt contributed to the break up. But that didn’t make it anymore easier. Being here at home, seeing couples skate in the rink in the middle of the common, walking around the city square, your heart begins to ache. The break up was much easier to deal with when you were at school, of course. Away from home and away from everything that reminded you of Carmilla. 

Here in the city square is where you and Carmilla shared your first kiss. You both were ice skating and you were trying to show off to impress Carmilla, which backfired and resulted in the two of you falling on your butts. You both erupted in laughter lying next to each other on the ice on your backs. Carmilla was in the middle of saying a sarcastic comment when you leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. You couldn’t help yourself. Her laugh and smile were too irresistible in the moment. These past few days at home have reminded you just how much you miss your girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend as you should say now.

As you continue to walk down the street you spot her. There, only a few feet away, is Carmilla. She’s the only person you know you will wear a leather jacket in the middle of winter. She’s with someone else you notice. Another woman. A blonde and Carmilla has her arm wrapped around the other woman’s shoulder. Seeing Carmilla with someone else brings a sharp pain to your chest. Your eyes don’t leave Carmilla. She’s smiling, her curls fall perfectly to her shoulder, and not for the first time do you think how beautiful she looks underneath the lights with snowflakes in her hair. You see them walk into one of the local bars, The Lusting. It doesn’t take long and before you know it your feet have a mind of their own and you’re walking in the direction of the bar.

//

You enter the bar. It’s not too crowded but there’s groups of people walking and sitting around. You smile to a few familiar faces from high school and make your way to the corner of the bar where you sit down on a stool. You look around searching for Carmilla and the woman she’s with. You spot them in another corner of the bar sitting at the booth. Carmilla is leaned back with her left leg propped up on the seat and a beer in her hand. The other woman is staring at Carmilla, memorized on the words she is saying. 

Carmilla must be going on rant. She loves ranting about anything and everything. She once talked your ear off for 20 minutes about why black raspberry wasn’t a real ice cream flavor. It was annoying at times but incredibly adorable and you miss the times you could just sit and listen to her talk for hours. Now she’s with someone else and that ache in your chest is still very much there.

The bartender walks up to you while cleaning a glass and ask if you would like a drink. You turn your attention from Carmilla to the man talking and you realize that it’s Kirsch. Kirsch was a few years older than you, but stayed back a few times in high school. Carmilla tutored him in history and they somehow became best friends. Nothing say awkward quiet like stalking your ex in a bar your ex-girlfriends best friend works at.

“Uh hey Kirsch.” You try your best not to sound too awkward. 

“What’s up, Laura? I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Yeah, just got back this week. Home for winter break.”

Kirsch nods his head and ask, “Can I get you something?”

You weren’t planning to buy a beer but to keep the awkwardness to a minimal you decide to order a beer. Kirsch takes one from under the counter and pops open the bottle cap. You pull out $5 to hand to Kirsch. 

“Don’t worry about it. On the house. Welcome back.”

Surprised you pull your money back into your pocket. “Thanks Kirsch.”

“No problem. I’ll talk to you later.” Kirsch heads back to the other side of the bar to take a few more orders. 

You stay at the bar for about an hour just watching Carmilla interact with the other woman. The woman say’s something that makes Carmilla throw her head back in laughter and you think that she seems to be happier now. You think how no one could ever love her like you do, but also you know that no one has ever hurt her like you. You can’t help the constant pain in your heart and urge to go over there asking for another chance.

Kirsch comes back over and notices that you’re staring at Carmilla and her date. 

“You know she’s just trying to move on.”

You sigh and turn away from the girls. You hold your empty beer with both hands and stare down at the bar table. “I know, I know.”

“She looks happier. “You say in almost a defeated tone.

Kirsch frowns slightly and he seems truly sympathetic towards you. “One day you’ll feel that too.”

You shake your head. “No, Kirsch. I messed up. I never should have broken up with Carmilla.”

“Maybe not. But you did. And it broke her. She’s been trying to do everything to keep her head float, ya know?

Hearing those words come out of Kirsch’s mouth make you feel more upset then you already are.

“I don’t know what to do Kirsch.”

Kirsch hesitates for a few moments, trying to find a way to word what he’s trying to say. Finally, he comes out with it.

“Just do what’s going to make you both happy.”

//

You’re walking around your childhood bedroom with a tequila bottle in hand. It has been a few days since you saw Carmilla and the other woman at the bar. Your mind has been racing with thoughts of them together that you just can’t quite escape. It’s basically making you crazy at this point. You look around to the photos on hung on your wall of you and your friend group in high school. Pictures of the gang at football events cheering on Kirsch, photos of you guys at the beach, and prom pictures. You can’t help but notice how happy everyone looks. You haven’t felt happy since that night a month ago in your dorm room with Carmilla. She drove 3 hours to see you just to get her heart broken. How heartless could you be, you think to yourself.

You sit down on the floor of your bedroom with your back pressed against the bed. You pick to rummage through the draws of your desk when you find it. You almost for it existed. The scratch book Carmilla gave you on the night of your high school graduation. You open it up to find a handwritten love letter on the first page signed “Forever yours, Carmilla.” Tears begin to form in your eyes as you flip through the pages.

The first is a photo when you and Carmilla were only 7 years old. Carmilla moved to your neighborhood while you were little and a friendship quickly formed between you two. Her mother worked a lot and left on business trips very frequently. Your father would watch her whenever needed. He grew to see Carmilla as another daughter to him. The number of sleepovers you two would have throughout the week was too many to count. It wasn’t shocking by the time you bother reach high school that you would both fall in love with each other. It’s easy falling in love with your best friend. Your fingers trace along the smiles on your faces and a tear drop falls onto the book. You wish you could reverse back time to such innocent and easy days. You wipe a tear away and turn the page.

Your 16th birthday party. You chuckle staring at the photo. You’re in front of the cake laughing with icing on your face that Carmilla put there. She is laughing in the photo too and you feel like you can almost hear that laugh again. That laugh alone would bring butterflies to your stomach and have you falling further for her. You remember that party almost perfectly. Carmilla, with the help of your dad, help a surprise party at your house. She invited all your friends, teammates, and even some other people from your school. The night was so much fun and your dad even left you guys alone in the backyard for most of the party. Carmilla lead you away to the front of your house at one point in the party where your tire swing was located. You got in and Carmilla began to push you. You remember how perfect everything felt that night under the stars with Carmilla.

At this point tears are forming quickly in your eyes. Sitting on the floor, with your back against your bed, and your hands in your face you begin to sob. You miss Carmilla so damn much. You absolutely regret ever breaking up with her. What were you thinking? She’s your best friend and was always there for you. You were in love with her since you were 7 years old. How could you give up on that? You want her back. You need to get her back. The only question now is how will  
you get someone whose heart you broke to ever talk to you again?

//

It’s Saturday night and Danny invited you over for game night at her and Kirsch’s apartment with Lafontaine and Perry. You were excited to get together with your friend group was again and you quickly accept the invitation. When you get to the apartment they are already in the middle of a charades game. You let them finish it out while you grab a beer from the fridge. Eventually Lafontaine and Perry win, because why wouldn't they. They’re basically the same person. Danny pops out Clue which is one of your favorites and you all get started. It feels good being back with your friends but you can’t help but feel like somethings missing. You try to keep it off your mind but you can’t help to feel like something just feels different. 

After Clue, Danny suggest you guys play Pictionary. You take a seat in the corner of the room on a chair and Lafontaine passes you another beer. During this game, you just feel distracted and can’t get Carmilla off your mind. You miss how it used to be with everyone around. How you two would sneak off somewhere to make out and Perry would go retrieve you two yelling at you like a mother. There’s a knock of the door and it grabs you away from your thoughts. Kirsch goes to open the door and standing there holding a six pack of your favorite beer, dressed in a leather jacket in the middle of December, is Carmilla. 

“Hey dudes, sorry I’m late I got caught up at work.”

“Dude no problem we just got started come in.” Kirsch says while grabbing the beer from her hands. She nods at everyone in the room and then her eyes meet yours. They widen slightly as if she didn’t realize you would be here and you swallow a hard gulp. Her eyes quickly leave yours and she sits at the end of couch next to Danny. 

You go throughout the night playing different games trying to avoid and gain Carmilla’s attention. She hasn’t looked at you since she first walked into the apartment. You just wish you could spend a few minutes alone with her, just to talk. Eventually the night begins to die out. Kirsch and Danny are cleaning up in the kitchen and Laf and Perry are scrolling for a movie on TV. Carmilla excuses herself to smoke a cigarette outside. You think to yourself that is may be your only chance so while you hope no one notices you follow her outside. 

You find her outside leaning against the porch railing with a cigarette in her mouth. 

“Thought you quit?”

Carmilla doesn’t turn to look at you. Instead she keeps her focus straight ahead and flick her cigarette once. 

“Habits are hard to break, I guess.”

“Yeah I guess so.” 

You both stand outside in the cold for what feels like forever not saying anything. You never did good with silence and must break it.

“So tonight, was fun.” 

Carmilla just nods her head. She finishes the cigarettes, throws it to the ground, and crushes it with her boot.

“I’m gonna head back inside.” 

Carmilla walks past you and is about to open the door when you should out “Wait”

She stops in her tracks but again doesn’t look at you.

“What do you want, Laura?

Hearing your name come from her mouth sounds foreign and weird. You never were just Laura to her. It was almost some type of nickname she gave you.

“I just want to talk with you, Carm.”

Carmilla chuckles slightly and shakes her head. “Talk? Really? About what?”

“I don’t know. How have you been?”

“You’re really going to ask me that, Laura?” She finally turned and is staring at you straight in the eye.

You look down and aren’t sure what to say next.

“How can you ask me that? How do you think I’m doing after you broke my heart?” Carmilla sounds angry and still very much hurt at this point. “If you’re thinking we can still be friends your wrong. I have enough friends I don't need anymore.”

“Carm, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you.” At this point tears are beginning to form in your eyes. 

“But you did, Laura. You hurt me. You fucking tore me apart.”

“I’m so sorry.” You say trying to fight back tears.

“You can keep your sorry’s.” Carmilla says as she begins to turn and walk away.

“I’m still in love with you!” You say through a sob. 

Carmilla again stops in her tracks. When she turns around you can see tears in her eyes as well.

“No. You don’t get to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Come back saying you still love me a month after breaking up with me. You don’t get to do that Laura.”

You step closer to Carmilla. “But it’s true, Carm. I still love you. I’m still so fucking in love with you and it hurts me every day that we aren’t together. I messed up so bad, Carm. I regret that night so much. If I could go back and change it I would, but I can’t, so I’m gonna stand here and tell you that I still am in love with you. I’m always going to be in love with you, Carmilla. You're everything to me.”

Carmilla begins to cry at this point and all you want to do is pull her into your arms. 

“Do you still love me?” 

What a loaded question to ask but you just must know. Carmilla wipes away her tears before looking up to you. “Of course, I still love you. You’ve been mine since we were seven that doesn’t go away overnight.”

“I want you back. Carm. I want us back.”

Carmilla just shakes her head. “How can I trust you ever again not to hurt me?”

“You can, Carm. I promise. The distance and the fights, it was all too much. I felt like we were growing apart. But I promise I’ll never do this again. This was all a stupid mistake.”

“I don’t know.”

You cup your hands on Carmilla’s face so she’s looking you straight in the eyes. 

“I still love you. And I promise till the day I die I will never do anything again to ever have you feel this pain.

You stare at each for a few moments before something takes over and Carmilla’s lips touch yours. You want to cry at how good it feels to kiss her again. One kiss and you already feel like the whole in your heart is closing. Your lips break apart and Carmilla stays looking at you.

“I love you too, cupcake.”

You smile at the familiar nickname and Carmilla smiles back at you. 

“Come have Christmas dinner this week with my Dad and me. We can talk and try to start over.”

Carmilla smiles before answering. “Fine. But I’m only going for Sherman’s apple pie.”

You both laugh and can’t help but think how happier you feel right now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Follow my *NEW* tumblr as I have been locked out of my old one: @lovethatneverfades.tumblr.com
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic please check out my others.
> 
> What did you guys enjoy about it? Do you think this could be a multi fic?


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